


the purpose-man

by leviya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depressed Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Love Poems, M/M, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Random & Short, Sad Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Short & Sweet, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23615488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviya/pseuds/leviya
Summary: levi remembers erwin
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith, Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	the purpose-man

when i am alone i am with erwin. whenever there is a memory of him i follow. i do not push the thought of him aside, because i am simply to weak.

he is in the office, working all morning. he lwatches me through the window when i brow my tea. he whispers in the wind whenever i ride my horse and he stays by my side every lonely night.

he is not real anymore. only in my mind. 

the mind is deceiving.

i do not mind the loss of him, many comrads had died before him and i managed to go on with my journey, but i do loath my ability to miss him. erwin the great. the greatest of all humans. humanity itself was weak compaired to him. the savior of the poor, the knowledge of our world, the endless worker, mastermind, leader, comrade, lover.

he cannot see this dream of his anymore. i can.

and i am holding on to it with all my life. allow me to laugh at myself for that. the giver of purpose has vanished and left his sword behind. and his iron sword will rost and fall to ashed without his hands to wield it. together we would have been invincible. undefeatable. 

i am the one who lets his ghost hunt me. 

when i am sitting with hanji i am with erwin. still present, as if sitting next to me. i ask him questions about his day. no one has to know. i follow. he appears in my mind and i let him. invite him to fill the emptiness with reason. there is no reason only heartache. 

i grow old while he remains the same. foolish for his age, with the face of a child who just explored the outside for the first time. hair as golden as the sun, he hurts my eyes, but i could never look away from him. steady, and calm. the bearer of hope; our only hope. his image will never change. i will keep his face young and his smile perfect, his hair sleeked back perfectly and his voice deep. i’ll keep his facade alife, his dream true and his ambition modern. he will forever be flawless.

until when i die, the memory of him too fades to nothing. 

when i am surrounded by their laughter and shatter i a with erwin. i ask him to excuse me and he nods. simple. i walk away and wait for him. two minutes. than he follows me to my chamber. as always. we never talk. there is nothing to talk about.

he is stronger than he thinks and knows how wrong he is. he knows. i know. i lie i don’t notice. perfection can’t be wrong i tell him. he laughs. 

i open my eyes. 

the world is dark, the pain unbearable. a man sits next to me. he can never be as perfect as erwin smith. but he gives me purpose...


End file.
